Day 175: Recuperation

Quiet day of housekeeping, of cleaning, of recuperation and regaining lost energy. Took apart my PC and blew the dust from the insides with a can of compressed air. Did the same with my keyboard, then cleaned the outsides with damp cotton wool pads. Edited photos for social media for work. Put clothes to wash. Bought drain unblocker from the shops, poured it down the drain in my shower. Hung out clothes. Hoovered the floor.

Been feeling low - my mental health is a step forwards, a step back at the moment. I have a day feeling better by a few degrees, then the next day I feel worse again. It’s like I’m trapped in limbo. Like nothing really changes. Yet it is changing slowly. Steps forwards and steps back, so I seem to be getting nowhere - but over the months I am shuffling forwards. I can’t sense the movement, but, like the growth of fingernails, like the rising of mountains, it is happening.

Some things can’t be seen, yet are there nonetheless. Trust in the process. Keep on not drinking. Do the writing. Gradually the landscape will change.

Going to get an earlier night tonight, I can feel a cold coming on and want to be rested for work tomorrow. At least I’ve got plenty of clean clothes, a tidy bedroom, breakfast for the morning in the cupboards. I’m not soaring right now, but I’m doing OK.

Sometimes that’s enough.