I'm doing better again. Basically back to my old self. By which I mean neurotic, exhausted, wracked with negative thoughts, utterly lost and confused - but trundling along pretty well, all things considered. Certainly I'm not in the pit of vipers as I was a few days ago.
It's good to be out. It is. To breathe freely. Not to feel the universe pressing down, pinning me to the spot, crushing me.
I didn't cope with this latest fall into depression as well as I would have liked, but I did cope better than I have in the past. I messaged people close to me, I took a single day off work, I tried to be kind to myself. I still spent far too long hiding from the pain by scrolling social media, watching mindless nothings on YouTube; I ate loads of junk food, stayed up too late, fell asleep to the glow of Netflix past 3am, lounged in bed till after midday - but I have definitely done worse. It was only a few days, and although the depression hurt, I didn't fall into despair to such an extent as I have done, and I came out the other side easier than before.
All of which is good. But it is late again, was working a long shift today, and in tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that.
So I'd better get some rest. Toodles.
Good work. Ebbs and flows it will but you recognised and self cared that's amazing x
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