Been napping. Mind is grinding too tight, can't get words out. Work was fine, but got back and couldn't get words out. Edited photos. Watched Always Sunny. Ate food housemate brought me. Napped.
My problems are not writing related but mental health related. I need to address my problems. Don't know how. Need therapy but can't afford therapy. Maybe I could, and I'm just using it as an excuse. Paying £50 a week would take everything I've been saving and more, but maybe income-dependent would be cheaper, and I could make it work if I stuck to the tightest budget.
It's so hard going on like I've been going. I'm ill all the time. It's always in the background, and comes out and knocks me down once or twice a week.
I am doing better than a year ago. But only because I'm forcing myself to get more done, despite the pain. I'm in as much pain.
Mental health is the hardest. This is not something I would wish on anyone.
Back to bed now. Might watch another Always Sunny to drift off to. At least I can enjoy comedy. Can't watch comedy when I'm at my lowest, can't derive pleasure from anything. I'm not at my lowest, not nearly. And I haven't been down that far in a long time. Maybe things are improving, just incredibly slowly.
Yes. Let's go with that.
All the support. You are improving slowly. This is not easy, you're doing ok. X
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